worst mom ever
i got totally TOLD today by a stranger at peet's. as sam gets bigger and loves to play, we do this toss/lift thing with him. he never leaves my arms, but it's like an express elevator up and down and he loves it. laughs like a nut. well, we're (really, me) doing this at peet's this morning and all of a sudden:
EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME.
(puzzled stare from me)
DON'T DO THAT. I'M A _NURSE_ AND I SEE INJURIES FROM THAT ALL THE TIME. IT'S LIKE BEING IN A CAR CRASH. HIS BRAIN IS SMALL AND HITTING HIS SKULL. HE MAY LOOK OKAY, BUT HE'LL GO TO SLEEP AND DIE. I SEE IT ALL THE TIME. DON'T DO THAT, OKAY? DON'T DO THAT.
the small asian child inside was superashamed at getting called out in public. i burst into tears in the car. not only was i publicly humiliated and mortified, but i am, apparently, killing my child.
(sn: i looked it up. i think she was referring to shaken child syndrome, which does not apply to me, since i am not violently shaking nor abusing my kid. on the other hand, to err on the side of caution, no more fun like that, littlebaby. second sn: today i hate filipina nurses who give unsolicited advice. i'm not opposed to learning, but i felt shamed, not taught. work on your bedside manner.)
secondly, i watch hideyo place with sam, and he's amazing at it. he's really conscientious about interacting and helping his little brain to grow. as the working parent, when i come home, it's all i can do to sit next to him, remember to feed him, occasionally play with him, or just pop him in his exersaucer and hope the plastic joy will entertain him. i may talk big game about "oh i wish i could be a stay at home mom" but honestly? i feel like i would suck at it. what would i do with sam all day? pop him in front of the tv? force him to take naps? forcefeed him? bury him in a stack of battery-powered toys and leave him to his own devices?
today, i feel like the world's shittiest mom.
posted by Unknown @ 6:20 PM
3 Comments:
OMG. First of all, if that deluded and snoopy nurse was right and this sort of thing was happening "all the time", you would know about it. If no one else, the local news channel loves to take ANY tiny little hazard to babies and scare the sh*t out of you with it: "And at 11:00--how you are killing your baby just by playing with him." Secondly, I agree, even if she is on some well-meaning campaign, that's no way to go about it. Thirdly, I think you are a great mom and do/would do just fine as a WOHM, WAHM, or SAHM. If you were a SAHM, you would probably just spend a lot of time at the park or library. Or like me, you'd go to Target every other day. I think one of Nessa's first 50 words was "Target". :)
I regularly flung the boys trapeze style during their 0-2 year span -- in the mall, over concrete sidewalks, and so on. They loved it, but it would always horrify L. I never dropped them, but I'm sure there was multiplie brain to skull contact going on there : ) And they turned out just fine -- though B. does have problems saying "Hannah Montana" : )
Once, I even dropped a 8 month old S. from my lap onto the stone-cold hard floor at Original House of Pancakes. LOTS of crying. It felt like people were boring holes into me with "worst dad ever" looks. Then, just last week, some mom did that to her kid, and I was like, "no big deal; he'll live." Parents won't throw stones at us.
All that to say, you're doing a great job, A.
don't worry about it too much. Sam's a BOY, and the more mobile he becomes, the more rough-and-tumble he'll become. I'll get the "worst dad in the world" feeling when Emmett falls off the bed or hits his head on the table, but then he's climbing into the laundry basket within 30 seconds and everything's back to normal.
Besides, the nurse at Peet's (if she is, in fact, a REAL nurse), shouldn't be doling out advice.
Bottom line: if Sam is developing normally (motor skills, vocalization, crawling), YOU'RE FINE. In fact, you're probably more than fine. He's a fine looking young man.
Chin up, mama.
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