the question of change

i recognize both the need for change and my fear of it.

professionally, making the jump from teaching to counseling was largely a positive one. i needed a change of pace, or i'd probably leave the profession entirely by the end of this year. on the other hand, there are the negative bits too. like changing from a progressive school to a traditional one. i thought i'd be okay with it, since i am a product of traditional schooling, but i think all my years being indoctrinated by stanfurd and hillsdale has left me unsatisfied with what i see here in my current school. before, i feared thinking about best practices/peer critiques because i thought i sucked at my craft anyway and didn't have anything to contribute. but now i work at a school that is immensely resistant to change and thinks that there is no need to change, instruction or professionally, and that freaks me out too. where do i belong?

personally, i know that change is necessary. if honey and i stay stagnant, our marriage won't work. if we don't talk and grow together, then we're in for a rough one. on the other hand, with baby on the way ... i fear that change like mad. so ... where do i belong on that particular spectrum?

other changes that make me unhappy but are manageable: having to take tums, which i have almost convinced myself tastes like sweettarts (i'd recommend the tums smoothies.) also, i have officially had to give up caffeine. beyond green tea, baby goes inSANE every time i have 3 sips of coke or coffee. he either lurvs it, or he's growing a special place inside for adhd. huzzah.

change ... i just don't know.