tomorrow

merry christmas, dear friends. i hope it's rockin' out and everyone is getting a good stash, if you're into that kind of stuff. presents stress me out, but heeday got me the cheeseboard collective cookbook, so corn cherry scones and brioche knots, come hell or high water, here i come!

it's still not hitting me yet. it may not hit me until i start down that aisle, and watching people watch me will freak me out so badly that i'll grab my dad, my honey, and my pastor, and ev and ben as witnesses, and beeline the hell out of there into a secret backroom to be married in peace. being the center of attention is so not my scene -- but it must be borne, if i am to be married to my love!

everyone's been so great -- really helpful. melinda was right. everyone is so helpful and supercompetent ... i'm positively gleeful to just say: "i dunno! ask hanah! ask karen! ask anyone in this room but me! wahoo!" it was a bitch to get here, but with the rehearsal behind us and two canker sores in me ... it's time to rock and roll boys and girls.

i'm blabbering and making no sense. i'm sure normal brides would have more anxieties or more excitement or respond more appropriately, but i'm just me, and i'm just glad that every day that passes is one more day i get to be with heeday. we need p. mike and the state of ca to make it a legal, permanent kind of thing, but i have been and will continue to do my best to choose him every day. that is what makes us work. the wedding -- only a formality and a cross to be borne.

here we go, Lord.

see you guys on the other side.