what has teaching done to me?

so today, i'm wearing karen's shirt (which i have yet to give back to her, bwahaha), jenie's hand-me-down gray pants with the bottoms cut off, orange furry boots, and this blue jacket i got from old navy four years ago.

besides the fact i can't dress myself or my age, i noticed that my blue jacket no longer fits. when i first bought it right before i started teaching, it was snug and lovely and i adored it. now i still like it, but it hangs on me like a paper bag. i feel this way about most of my clothes after the great putsch four years ago to buy nominally grownup clothes. everything just hangs now. or actually needs to be belted. or held up with other aparatuses. aparati. aparatae.

this leads me to believe that, despite my mother's urgings to "just lose five more pounds," i've actually lost more than that since i started teaching. where have i gone? i've eaten many a sausage mcmuffin to try and compensate for the weight loss, but despite my best efforts ... i think teaching is eating me alive. for breakfast.

what should i do?