some funny conversations

hideyo: do i really have to give one positive about thursday's meeting?
me: yes.
hideyo: but i just told you that ben poon was there.
me: dude. that doesn't say anything positive about the actually meeting.
hideyo: you only said ONE THING. and now you want TWO things? how high maintenance can you be?????

[context unknown, but my sister keeps trying to teach my fob father slang.]
kathleen: ooh ooh, dad. tell alinna what you say to the latina woman at the store.
dad: peace, bitch!
kathleen: no, dad, the other one.
dad: Jesus loves you?
kathleen: NO, DAD, THE OTHER ONE.
dad: oh. stop frontin'.