best lines from the honors tests today:

*context: commentary on the situation in the middle east and what american foreign policy toward the middle east should look like*

1. "the u.s. is full of shit when it comes to freedom."

2. "i think that that's [u.s. involvement in the m.e.] true, because you wouldn't want someone to come into your house and eat your food or something."

3. "the u.s. should start doing business with old people. they're the ones with all the knowledge and wisdom."

4. "the only option america has is to conquer the middle east (aside from american allies) and make it a part of the unite states."

5."the plan to break away from the middle east and back down resembles poker in a very distinct way. if a player throws an immense amount of chips into the pot because they think they have a pretty good hand, then the next player raises the bet, the player who made the first bet is left "pot commited." folding the hand would be a serious wasste of chips, literally giving them to the opponent. that is exactly what the u.s. would be doing if they backed out now, but instead of throwing away chips, they'd be throwing away billions of dollars."

6. "the palestinians really felt like they got screwed when the u.n. took away their land and gave it to israel."

7. "america is in the situation we are in because we are being led by a big babboon."


*a conversation with my dad*

"the american episcopal church is in a world of trouble right now. they are being castrated by the world episcopal church."

"dad. do you mean excommunicated?"

"yeah. they mean the same thing. it's taking away your manhood. it means you become an oonuck."

"dad. you mean a eunuch?"

"hee hee hee."

no wonder my sister calls him an old fob.