i'm trying to decide what is more full: my head or my heart.

my head
things at school are a perpetual whirlwind. every day that i am here, i find myself spinning like a top from 7:15a until 4:00p. there is always something more to do. always. being a teacher, i think, only perpetuates the type a inside and my need to always be doing something productive comes out in full force. we're having a family potluck tonight at school. pray for us. i hope i'm not assaulted by some parent who accuses me of harrassing/abusing their kid, because chances are, i've probably actually hit them. so many kids could really benefit from a smack in the head. i am, of course, more than happy to provide that service.

on top of this ... this morning, we made owen the bio teacher really uncomfortable because i wanted to talk about sex. i think being a part of a women's group has been very liberating, because as a formerly oppressed TACKS kid, i've barely said the word. lately though, i've become more and more worried about our kids, and whether or not they're having sex. if every kid had a traffic light on their head, with green being "yes they are" and red being "no they aren't," i'd probably get a nosebleed from the sheer quanity of greens. this week, i had one kid tell me they were going to planned parenthood, and another who came to say that they were being pressured by the idiot asshole boyfriend to have sex. and i just wish so much that there was a forum for kids to talk about those kinds of things. it's not like they're going to tell their parents, and they just need some positive role models to talk about those kinds of things with them. OMG. they need a women's group. so we talked about doing some stuff in advisory ... some "he said/she said" stuff ... some boy time, girl time. just some space to hear what the kids are thinking. i grew up under a rock. i didn't know what the hell went on in high school ... and i feel like i need to know more about what kids are dealing with nowadays, because as much as i'd love for them to build an academic identity and get a's and go to college ... what seems almost more urgent is making sure they don't get std's and pregnant. owen was horrified. he so did NOT want to talk about it. heee heee. so he left, and the marrakech women had a chat about what we were going to do.

my heart
just lots of things going on, i think. i had a GREAT thanksgiving -- two families' worth, in fact. and it was so interesting meeting hideyo's family. they are mild-mannered (though off the cuff) japanese people. my family is Canto loud and incredibly obnoxious. his family had an organized, decorated dinner. my family had kids spilling out all over the place, slightly tipsy because my dad opened too many bottles of wine. hideyo's mom hugged me. my mom tried to hit him. it was strange, but in retrospect ... it was all good fun. and good food too. our team rocks, and i just feel that way more and more. for those of you who were plotting against us from the beginning (not to name names, EV, BOO BOO, COWBOY) ... we celebrated hideyo's birthday by going up to the city and retracing our footsteps from our first not-a-date. and i maintain that it wasn't! but this time, it was and it was an awful lot of f-u-f-u-f-u-n. *end gushing/gag reflex sequence*

just a lot of things going on at church too. my affection for baylight continues to grow. it's amazing to be a part of a community that i love and care for so much. i love the people and i want to love on them so much more. all the things that i am learning about contemplative prayer and learning to see the Lord in an outside-of-the-box fashion is so wonderful. it's like not being colorblind any more (sorry, hideyo) and being able to see a smidgeon of who God is for the first time. it's crazy wonderful.

my hands
on top of all this, i can't stop knitting. make the madness stop! i can't stop going to the yarn store, or to michael's, and continuously starting new projects. it's crazy. when i take the kids to the library, i knit. when i watch tv, i knit. when i talk on the phone, i knit. stop the madness!

my God
i love Him. my cup overflows (and then i try to catch all the drips)