we interviewed candidates for kristin's longterm sub today. oh MAN. it was dismal. i had no idea so many weird people out there wanted to teach.

candidate number #1's highlights:
- deadfish handshake: a dealbreaker on the spot
- came late
- very aggressive and self-promoting: ie, "i wrote this fabulous lesson" or "my classroom management skills are incredibly strong"
- talked about "immediate punishment" when students misbehave
- scared me

candidate number #2's highlights:
- accented every other word with "aaaah"
- hasn't been in a high school classroom ever
- worked in business, used lots of big words and talked in circles

candidate number #3's highlights:
- came an hour and a half late
- seemed lost
- wore an ugly jacket too large
- forgot to brush her hair
- glasses kept sliding off her face
- could not reasonably answer any questions

poor candidate #3. travis, who in the past i've referred to as "satan's minion," has transitioned into a special place in my heart. travis, my new advisee, lives where jj lives in my heart -- room marked "slightly deadbeat potheads who want to do well on some level. still saveable." so he got kicked out of class this morning (of course, but it was the first time for this class all semester, so not bad, travis, not bad) and instead of shouting at him, we invited him to interview the last candidate with us. he had a good question too "what would you do if a student is defiant?" and when candidate number #3 (who i cannot think about without associating her with a houseful of crazy cats and lace doilies everywhere and chintz lampshades) hemmed and hawed, travis moved in for the kill. "so you wouldn't send them to the office? would you? or would that be a last resort? is that a last resort?" it was awful for her. our 15-year-old kid chewed her up and spit her out.

afterward, travis told me: "you better not hire her, miss chiu. she's the kind of lady that i'd take crazy advantage of because she won't do a damn thing."

NICE.