today, as i was getting my filthy car washed, i saw a license plate that said "leave my brain alone!"

i often feel that way lately. everything seems to take so much brain power. not that i am opposed to using my brain ... Lord only knows i feel my brain cells fleeing somewhere over the rainbow on a daily basis, but i wish i had some say in the way they were employed. for example, i'd love to make more headway on my current book east of eden, penny's favorite. and might i add, it's only a LITTLE creepy that it's her fav book ... serial, the book is like watching a train wreck happen. you can't help but stare in sick, glazed fascination. very gripping.

what i have found with my brain cells is that they are being stretched in an unexpected way. as i was telling hideyo last night, i've been to an awful lot of grown up meetings lately. at school, i find myself bemusedly in charge of quite a few things in our house/program. i'm my house rep for the slc council. then there are the dept mtgs, which i zone out happily, but then today, i found myself at a community mtg planning for the future of our school. i wondered honestly how the hell i got there. i'm just a kid, for crying out loud.

and at church ... i find myself all of a sudden very involved. don't get me wrong -- i love the ministries that i am involved with. i am superexcited about my new women's group and i can't give enough shoutouts to my ltg. i always knew that i would be invested in this community; i just didn't realize how much until i was at an ltg leader thingy-thingy on sunday looking at budget stuff. if you know me, you know i can't even keep track of spare change. it's all i can do to collect state quarters. and here i was ... helping to give input and making decisions? whaaaaaat?

i can't imagine why this shocks me, but i ain't 19 no more. i'm freaking 25 and could possibly be becoming a grown up, or some permutation of that frightening prospect. what happened? how did this happen?